I seem to be in a bit of a creative doldrums. Not sure why, but I seem to have a -10 to finding the motivation to get into the studio and really create wonderful things. Ditto just going in and re-making already created designs.
What’s up with that? I don’t want to make beads, paint or make mandalas. I walk into the studio and then walk back out because I would rather have a nap.
The situation is more than a little distressing, given that the summer shows are coming up and I must work. I suspect I will have to take myself sternly in hand and just sit at the bench until something gives. In the meantime, I’ve been doing lots of non-bench, not-creative things around the biz. Redoing all the shop photography for the new website, updating stuff on the new site in general, inventory… but..
I’ll be honest. I’m not feeling it. Looking back over the last couple of blog posts, I think, “Wow, I’m in a downer mood lately!” and that just can’t stand. I mean, it’s ok to be in a downer mood, but, I’d rather not noodle around in it. I’d rather do something about it.
With the Cap gone for work so much, I’m single momming it up here, and it gets old. I feel like if I have to plan one more week of meals and groceries, I will start screaming and never stop. If I have to think about another person’s needs, if I go to eat an avocado and discover that someone else ate ALL the avocados a day after I bought them, if I realize that we’re out of eggs again, if I have to be serene, calm, maternal and kind when I am really feeling cranky and non-nurturing, if I find another collection of dirty water glasses on the coffee table, oh god I will explode. Not to mention the cranky, yowly old cat who wakes me up at 5 every morning, who forgets to poop in his litter box, and forgets that he’s already eaten breakfast, second breakfast and elevenses. Today is just that way, unfortunately. I remember sometimes feeling this way as a mom with young kids. Or older kids, even. Truly I had not expected to be here again after the nest emptied.
Life often hits us with what we had not expected. But, today, I’m not feeling it. And I know that’s ok. I feel guilty, but, really it’s ok not to be feeling it. Just, how do I get to feel it again?
What’s real for me today is that I really just want to chuck it all and get out of town for a few days. I’m told that extreme moodiness is common during candida die off. I’m not sure if extreme camping needs are, but maybe they are one and the same? But that’s what I need to do. Go to the beach for a week and camp in nature. Take a good book, a sketchbook, some watercolors, my camera, and go.
I know, I live in nature.
There’s more life and natural beauty than you can shake a stick at up here. I mean, look at this natural beauty! I’m so lucky to live in it.
But right now I need to be in different nature. I need to be in some wild that feels like vacation, not home. I’ve got to do something or something is going to pop.
I promise, I’ll come back. I could never leave the cats for long. No, not even the old cranky yowly one.
I’ve been adding to my little porch garden. Yesterday I got a dahlia and some lobelia and some other neat flower and stuck them in pots. Rite Aid has half price flower pots that are very nice, by the way. If you need cheap but pretty flowerpots. That was ultimately very cheering, as was the lovely rain we got this morning that pattered on the roof off and on in the wee hours.
Still, I kind of want to run away today.
So what are your tried and true methods for shaking yourself out of a creative slump and a bad case of the “I don’t wannas” that don’t include leaving town for a week? I’d love to hear ‘em. Because there’s a beach trip in the planning, but it may be a week or two before I can arrange my complicated life to get there. In the meantime, I’m up for suggestions!