Crazy Aunt Purl’s No Spend blog posts have been pretty inspiring to me. The recent posts on not spending on “nonessentials” in particular, after college tuition, books, high school uniforms and other unexpected expenses wiped out my emergency fund in one fell swoop and left me flailing and unable to buy groceries or cat food for a week.

Living on stale novelty pasta from the back of the pantry and dessicated artichoke hearts from the freezer is a good incentive to Better Financial Thinking.

In that spirit, I’ve been trying not to spend any money on “nonessentials” myself. Now, anyone who has ever lived with a teenage girl knows that there is no such thing as a “nonessential” item, so can probably see one of my problems right up front. Desired items are usually described, couched in such terms as to make you think that if the teenage girl doesn’t get the item in question, they might immediately expire of starvation/blood poisoning/unfairness/bad hair, and this description gets faster and faster and the pitch gets higher and higher until usually you just pony up the ATM card in desperation so that you can get a little peace and quiet. And avoid someone dying.

In other words, it was easier to say “no” when they were three. At three, you could put them in time out and shut the door. And at three, they had not yet discovered the devastatingly effective tactic of dramatically rolling their eyes at you. In the mall. In front of the clerk. Who is only too happy to assist by looking at you pointedly in agreement, thereby implying that you’re the World’s Stingiest Mum.

I am not going to make this work without a system, some clear definitions, and A Cunning Master Plan.

The first things to define, of course, what is nonessential? What is essential? Where to cut back? I’m really struggling with this discussion, but rather than sink into despair while I eat what I think were once multicolored Easter Rabbits with pesto, I am trying to use the opportunity to re-evaluate my priorities and fuel some positive and long term change. I think a lot of families are probably in this same position right now.

I do think it is possible. I do think we can do it, all of us, at least those of us who are feeling the need. Our parents and grandparents weathered the Great Depression, after all, and while we’ve blown off all their frugal good habits and become accustomed to instant gratification, we can always take a step back. We can always learn. Change, in a positive vein, is always an option.

We can illuminate our own rocky shores if we choose to.