I bought this little Buddha tealight holder at Target shortly after Mr. Honey&Ollie moved out of our home. It was on clearance, I think, $4. I’d loved it for weeks, but couldn’t afford it at full price (I think it was like, $16? But I was mid separation and broke and broken hearted.)
But then, there it was. On sale. The last one. Of course I grabbed it. And I took it home and I made a little space around it in our cluttered, sad little apartment, where we were all bleeding, heartsore and sad. Where we kept staring at the great big hole where Mr. Honey&Ollie’s stuff used to live. I cleared a little space for it and I kept that little space serene and quiet. I’d light a candle and it would make me feel better. Gradually the quiet space around the Clearance Buddha grew. The quiet places in my heart got a little bigger and the loud angry sad places began to calm down. We all waited, the girls and I. In a holding pattern. Life went on but it was hard and grey and there were so many challenges. And through it all, Clearance Buddha’s candle always burned, clear and bright and hopeful.
Then I found us a new house, a new community, and I set out on a new path. It came about when the time was right, when I decided to throw off fear and limits and ties and just take a leap into the unknown. First house I looked at. First landlord I talked to. I walked in and it was ours. And from that moment, every single thing has been better. Easier. Not so dark that I need to light a candle against it anymore.
Clearance Buddha came with me and he brought the Eightfold Rabbits. They represent those little ideas for stories or projects or paintings or shawls, the ones that proliferate and breed in the dark corners of the imagination so that you come out in the morning and find hundreds of them hopping about, too many to possibly write or knit or paint or create at once.
They live on the mantle, the center of my quiet and peaceful home, the home that doesn’t have roaches or mold or despair in it mucking up the walls. The home that has my kid, my dog and my cats, where we sit together on the wide front porch, where we tend our garden and water the roses.
Clearance Buddha and the Eightfold Rabbits.
A little spark of light against the dark when I needed one the most.
And I got it on sale.